Who can be with you during labour

Deciding who you want beside you when you give birth is a surprisingly big decision, and a very personal one. The right support can genuinely help labour go more smoothly — people who feel safe and calm tend to labour better — so it’s worth thinking about ahead of time rather than leaving it to chance on the day.

How many people can you have? This varies by hospital, and policies do change (they tightened a lot during COVID and have largely eased since), so check with your maternity unit. Many allow one or two support people during labour and birth. If you’re having a caesarean in theatre, usually only one person can come in with you, so it’s worth deciding in advance who that will be.

Your partner. For many people this is their partner, who’s been part of the whole journey. A good birth partner doesn’t need medical knowledge — their job is to be a calm, familiar presence: holding your hand, offering water and snacks, helping you move, speaking up for your preferences, and simply being there. It can help to talk beforehand about what you’ll find useful in the moment (and what you won’t).

A support person who isn’t your partner. Plenty of people choose a mum, sister, close friend, or another trusted person — either instead of or alongside a partner. Choose someone who makes you feel safe and steady, not someone who’ll be anxious or take over. It’s your labour, and you’re allowed to be choosy about the energy in the room.

A doula. A doula is a trained, non-medical birth supporter who provides continuous emotional and practical support before, during and after birth. They don’t replace your midwife or make clinical decisions, but many people find their steady, experienced presence really valuable. There’s usually a cost, and it’s worth meeting a few to find someone you click with.

Your midwife and medical team. Alongside your chosen people, you’ll have your midwife, and doctors if needed. If you’ve had continuity of care through your pregnancy, you may know your midwife already, which many find reassuring.

It’s okay to change your mind — or ask someone to step out. You might feel differently in the moment than you expected, and that’s allowed. You can ask someone to take a break, or have your support person do more (or less) than planned. Your comfort comes first, and good support people won’t take it personally.

Talk it through beforehand. Whoever you choose, a quick chat in advance about your preferences — pain relief, who cuts the cord, how you like to be encouraged — helps them support you well. Pop your choices in your birth plan too.

There’s no “right” number or combination of people — only what feels right for you. Choose the support that helps you feel safe and held, check your hospital’s policy, and know you can adjust as the day unfolds. Feeling secure in who’s around you is one of the kindest things you can set up for your birth.