Preparing older children and pets for a new baby

A new baby reshapes the whole household — including for older siblings and the family pet. A little preparation helps everyone adjust more smoothly and feel part of the change, rather than displaced by it.

For toddlers and young children, keep explanations simple and honest, pitched to their age. Talk about the baby in everyday ways, let them feel kicks and “help” get things ready, and read picture books about becoming a big brother or sister. If big changes like moving to a new bed or starting daycare are on the horizon, try to do them well before the baby arrives, so they’re not all bundled in together.

Expect some big feelings, and even some going backwards — extra clinginess, toileting slips, broken sleep — after the baby comes. It’s a normal response to a huge change, not naughtiness. Carve out small pockets of one-on-one time, name their feelings (“it’s hard to share Mum, isn’t it”), and give them little jobs so they feel important rather than pushed aside.

When you first introduce them to the baby, it can help if someone else is holding the newborn, so your arms are free for a proper hello and cuddle. Many families also have a small “gift from the baby” ready for the sibling — a sweet touch that smooths the first meeting.

The early weeks with an older child take patience. Involve your toddler in safe little ways — fetching a nappy, singing to the baby, gentle “soft touches” — so they feel like a proud helper rather than a rival. Lower your standards generously: a bit of extra screen time, easy meals and a messier house are completely fine while everyone adjusts. Try to protect small one-on-one moments with your older child, even ten minutes, as it’s often what they’re really missing. And if there’s jealousy or even a swipe at the baby, stay calm and matter-of-fact rather than cross — supervise closely, redirect, and keep reassuring them they’re loved. It usually settles as the new normal beds in.

Pets need a run-up too. In the lead-up, gradually shift their routine toward how it’ll look afterwards, get them used to baby sounds and equipment, and reward calm behaviour around the nursery. Bringing home a blanket carrying the baby’s scent before the baby arrives can help dogs and cats adjust.

When you do introduce them, keep it calm and supervised — and never leave a pet alone with a newborn, however gentle they normally are. With patience and a bit of supervision, most pets settle into their new, slightly-less-central role just fine.