Making peace with your changing body

Pregnancy changes your body faster and more dramatically than almost any other time of life — and our culture’s obsession with “bouncing back” doesn’t make that easy to sit with. If you have complicated feelings about your changing shape, you’re in very good company, and you’re allowed to.

Some people feel powerful and at home in a pregnant body; others feel awkward, unrecognisable, or anxious about weight and stretch marks; many feel all of it on different days. Add hormones, fatigue and an endless feed of other people’s “perfect bumps” to compare against, and it’s a lot. None of those feelings make you vain or ungrateful.

A few things help. Curate your feeds — unfollow accounts that leave you feeling worse, and follow ones showing real, varied bodies. Focus on what your body is doing rather than only how it looks; it is, quite literally, building a person. Wear clothes that fit and feel good now, instead of squeezing into the old ones. And move in ways that feel kind, not punishing.

It also helps to talk about it. Naming “I feel weird about my body” to a partner or friend takes a surprising amount of its power away — and you’ll almost always find they’ve felt it too. Gentle, matter-of-fact honesty beats pretending you feel great.

Be wary of “bounce back” pressure, before and after birth. Your body grew and birthed a baby; recovery takes time, and there is no deadline. Comparing your day-three postpartum self to someone’s highlight reel is a recipe for misery.

Some small, practical things genuinely help you feel better day to day. Invest in a few pieces of maternity clothing and a properly fitted bra that suit the body you have now — squeezing into too-tight clothes makes anyone feel worse. As your skin stretches it can get itchy; a simple, fragrance-free moisturiser soothes it, though no cream truly prevents stretch marks, which are normal, incredibly common, and usually fade to silvery lines over time. The dark line down your belly (linea nigra) and other pigment changes are normal too, and generally settle after birth. And you’re allowed to protect yourself from comments — a breezy “I’m growing a whole person, I think I look great” shuts down unsolicited remarks about your size, from strangers and relatives alike.

If body-image worries tip into something heavier — constant distress, or controlling food in ways that worry you — please talk to your GP or midwife, or reach out to PANDA (1300 726 306). You deserve to feel okay in your own skin while you do this extraordinary thing.